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Felix Unger: What are you doing?
Oscar Madison: Sterilizing the wound.
Felix Unger: With beer?
Oscar Madison: It's got alcohol in it.
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Felix Unger: Everyone thinks I'm a hypochondriac. It makes me sick.
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Felix Unger: I'm going to the studio to pick up the gauntlet he threw down.
Murray Greshler: You're so tidy.
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Oscar Madison: You want brown juice or green juice?
Felix Unger: What's the difference?
Oscar Madison: Three weeks.
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Oscar Madison: You ruined my wine.
Felix Unger: Here's a dollar. Buy another three bottles.
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Felix Unger: Everything you've ever owned is on that bed.
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Felix Unger: What do you dream about?
Oscar Madison: Living alone.
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